Forget
by TiredRaven
Summary: Lily is about to marry James, but before she can, she sends one last letter to Severus to say goodbye. SSLE, JPLE


For anyone that reads 'A Grim Life.' I know, I know. It's been like a month since I updated that short fic. I am REALLY, REALLY sorry. But... I... have no excuse other than I think that I burned my copy of the fifth book, thinking that I could stop Sirius from dying...

Yeah, I'll tell you if it worked.

So this was just an idea that I came up with while trying to force myself to write multiple oneshots (curse you, Minerva McGonagall. WHY MUST YOU BE SO HARD TO FINISH?), 'A Grim Life,' my un-posted fic 'As We Fall,' and 'The Brokenhearted Lion.' It isn't going well. I haven't finished a chapter of BHL in like, two weeks. Stupid Cedric... makes everything hard to write... I should just skip to the competition, kill him off, and have Wyn commit suicide...

Ok, rant over. Sorry if you read that. Anyways, just a little oneshot. Thanks for reading, please review!

If I owned Harry Potter, Rems and Siri would be married.

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_ Severus, _

_I suppose you've heard by now. I suspect the entire world has heard now, what, between James screaming it at every passer-by, Sirius jumping around loudly proclaiming 'I KNEW IT! I KNEW IT! I KNEW IT!', and Professor Dumbledore wearing that smile like he always does, I suppose it would be impossible for you to not know. But, for some reason, I feel like I have to tell you myself. I feel like I owe that to you—or perhaps I owe it to myself. To close this torrid affair, to end this desperate feeling of up and down and loneliness. _

_Severus, I hope you know that I loved you. I hope you know that I wanted so desperately for it to work that it hurt. I hope you know that more than anything—anything—I lived to see one of your rare smiles, hear one of your few and far between laughs. I could brush off everything just for one moment of your ringing laugh, loud in my ears so cold with silence. Please know, please just let me say this: James has given me everything in the world. But I have never liked his laugh much—it is too loud, too hoarse, too common. And I hear it so often that it hardly even seems a pleasure anymore. I do love him, as much as I can, but whenever he laughs I can see the corners of your lips turning up into a smile. _

_Don't look at this letter like that Severus, and don't act indignant now that I've found you out. Don't you dare smirk at what I'm telling you. Severus, I chose him. Don't you get it? Can't you understand that? I chose James, Severus. He might not be everything that I've ever wanted—his laugh might be empty, his smile might be tired, but whenever I look at him I know I love him. I know that I've loved him for a long time; I know that I refused to admit it. So don't look at this letter like that, Severus, smirking, thinking that James could never give me what you were going to give me. Because he's given me everything that he could ever give me, everything that I've ever asked of him._

_But I guess I'm looping around in circles, saying that he's given me everything but not enough. Maybe it's because he wasn't my first love, maybe it's because he wasn't my strongest love, maybe it's because I only started to date him because you insisted on being such a git. I can think of a million reasons why, but for now, I'll disregard all of them. What matters, Severus, what really matters, is that I'm happy now. _

_Yes, I'm happy. I'm happier than I ever was when I was safe in your arms, because here I am open. Here I know I can turn to James tomorrow, the next day, the day after, and tell him I love him, and listen to him say 'I love you' back. I know that no matter what happens, I can rely on James being there for me in a way I could never rely on you. I know you loved me, Severus. I know, even if you never said it. But I know James will love me tomorrow, will love me forever. I know that harsh words will never pass his lips; uncaring eyes will never burn my soul. _

_Everyone asks 'Why now?' Well, you know why it had to be now, don't you? You know the day I decided to let James Potter win, the day I allowed myself to call him James instead of 'Potter.' You know, and you'll never tell a soul, and I doubt I will, either, but you know—we both know. And I suppose that if either of us could live that day over again, we'd do it differently. At least I hope that's true, Severus. I know you didn't mean that, and I hope you'd take it back, if only you could._

_So I just thought I'd tell you, tell you what you already know, say what you've already heard, write what you've already seen written… And I'll scream it, Severus; I'll scream it loud, proud, so everyone can hear it. _

_I'm marrying James Potter, Severus, because I love him. Because I love him, I love him, I love him. _

_I hope you're happy with what you chose, Severus. I hope that your tattoo doesn't burn too badly, I hope that the 'friends' you have stick by you, I hope that you can be everything that you want to be. I hope that you can forget the mudblood who brought you down. I hope you can forget that she loved you—that you loved her._

_I hope you can forget what it's like to be loved, because it seems that's what you've wanted._

_Goodbye, Severus,_

_  
Lily_

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Ok, that came out more angsty than I thought it would... but that's all right. Evans gets to be angsty. _  
_

PLEASE REVIEW. I'LL LOVE YOU FOREVER!

Quoth TiredRaven: "Nevermore!"


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